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The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
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Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
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My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
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In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
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A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
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The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
How much does smoke deter cost?
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
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I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
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Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
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I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
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Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
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We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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